An appetizer for December...

Christmas:  The aftermath.

Hello.  How was your Christmas? 

I get great pleasure in trying to be the best Santa Claus ever.  I work really hard thinking of gifts, make sure that they are plentiful, and make sure that they are fun.  I don't know if I succeed, but trying it makes it a success in my book.

Last night I had a guitar lesson.  It was the first time I really didn't feel like a complete spaz.  My teacher just received an electric banjo for Christmas, so he and I jammed together on a Jerry Reed song.  I've never played opposite a banjo before, so that was a ton of fun.  It was nice just to play and not worry about technique, etc.  I even dropped a few "walks" in on him. 

I'm rambling.  I think. 

A couple of weeks ago I proposed doing a series of monthly reviews in 2011 on 12 of the best Chicago based steakhouses (admitting it is a list of 11 local places with a stop at Fogo de Chao - ALL YOU CAN EAT MEAT.  I'm not passing that place...), with a 13th thrown in during December 2010 as an "appetizer" (and since it wasn't local).  Today, I'm starting that series.

This first one is going to include photos from the interwebs, as I don't have any of my own.  Future installments will be photos of the food that we actually consume.  I will probably continue to use interwebs photos of the establishments, but I'm gonna be the guy who snaps pictures of his food at the restaurant.  You know, the douchebag.

A few things.  The links embedded in this and all future posts will open in a new window, so if you don't like that, sorry.  I don't like having to use the "back" button all the time.  I think I'm a funny guy, and a lot of the links will be photos that may make you laugh.  I've embedded a lot of links in here.  They're part of the writing.  Again, sorry. 

I'm not going to tell you about the subtleties in the steaks.  Maybe.  I'm not that refined.  Maybe. 

Look, I'm just a normal guy who likes his steak the way whatever God there is intended it.  I want to taste the meat.  And salt.  I accept salt as a garnish.  Also acceptable on a steak:  Butter (and I'll accept a flavored butter).  Try it.  Peter Luger's does it that way. 

You could just throw this on the grill, and I'm good.

I also like to eat a LOT of steak.  I generally will not order anything less than a 20 oz. steak on a menu.   I also used to be a guy who likes his steak more toward the well done side.  That has changed as I have gone to better and better establishments.  I now eat no more than a medium, and often have a medium rare.  Steak that was pink in the middle used to taste raw to me, but if I'm going out for steak now, I ain't going to Outback.  I get higher quality steaks that are delicious when cooked toward the rare side.  My tastes have become more sophisticated methinks.   

I also am not a fan of sour cream, chives, or anything else that you can put on a baked potato.  I like butter.  And salt.  Period.  I don't care for a salad with a bunch of crap in it, as cucumbers and tomatoes make me gag, and I like my desserts to have chocolate.  Mostly. 

I don't drink.  I can't comment on a wine list.  If I were to sample some wine, well....the list wouldn't suffice.  Some of you witnessed the way I drink.  It's just best that I don't.  After 22 years of not drinking...yeah...it's really best that I don't.  So, if you're looking for a recommendation on an after dinner cocktail, I can't help you.  Sorry.



A little bit of delicious in a great big city



So, what you're going to get is a picky eater's review of the thing he enjoys eating the most, along with any commentary my wife cares to add on her dishes.  The first steakhouse we're visiting is Keefer's on New Year's Eve....but as I promised an appetizer, I'm going to tell you about the wonder that is Joe's Seafood, Prime Steak and Stone Crab.  (let the video play - you'll like it)  Here we go. 

I'm not absolutely certain what the event was we were attending - I want to say we had tickets to "Wicked" that evening, but I remember we decided upon Joe's for a very good reason.  Thanks to a vendor of mine, I had $100 worth of Lettuce Entertain You gift certificates that would help pay for wherever we went.  We had gone back and forth about Maggiano's, and finally decided that Joe's was worth trying. 

We made the right choice.

Joe's shares its name and heritage with a place in Miami.  There are only three locations in the United States, so I let this one slide as a Chicago place.  Sue me.  It's my blog.  I should also point out that we've been to Joe's several times.  It had become our "go to" restaurant in the city, replacing the twice (fool me once....) disappointing Smith & Wollensky.

Walking up to the door at Joe's, it doesn't
 feel like it's trying to impress you.  Yes, there is valet parking, but it's at Rush & Grand.  You try finding a spot around there.  My point is that although the exterior facade is nice, it's not really trying to make you think something you shouldn't.  The front of the place is windows on both sides of the corner, with a revolving door entrance.  The revolving door is a good thing, because as soon as you come through it, you are in the bar.  No anteroom.  No vestibule.  You are in the bar.  Awfully cold in there in winter without the revolving door.  It's dimly lit, but in a warm way, and there are several TV's around showing the stuff that bar TV's show (sports).  It's usually crowded, but not stuffed, so it has a very vibrant feel to it.  The wood is either a walnut or cherry, and it is plentiful.  As you scan the room, you can see a balcony that appears to be private seating to the west, the main dining room to the north, and the Maitre d' station immediately in front of it.  We've always been greeted by a warm smile and friendly banter upon our arrival.


Like I said, I don't drink, so I can't comment on the bar, other than passing observation.



Our booth was right there on the left. 



We were led into the restaurant immediately (I believe we even might have been a couple minutes late for our reservation), and seated in a very nice, romantic, candlelit booth off to the side.  There is white linen on the tables, off white walls with some wonderful photo mural work
 of the original Joe's in Miami, a bunch of wood trim (I'm thinking it's cherry, but I could be wrong), and a very impressive wine rack.  The place just feels classy.   It should also be noted that as vibrant as the bar was, the dining room was much quieter.  Again:  classy.  You can have a full voiced conversation, but it's not overwhelmingly loud, and you don't have to shout. 

We were in a bit of a rush that evening, as we had theatre tickets.  Our tuxedo wearing (always a nice touch) waiter was to our table very quickly, whereupon I informed him of our situation; and that we didn't want to rush, but we didn't have time to dally.  He was very receptive, and very attentive.  He informed us of the non-menu items, then gave us just a couple of minutes to peruse the menu.  In the meantime, a small basket of breads and homebaked crackers and some butter arrived.  There are no "doubles" in the bread basket.  There is one of every item.  I sampled as many as I could.  The best is the onion roll.  I'm a fan of onion flavor, but not of onions.  It's a texture thing.  The onion roll is tasty.  Very tasty. 



How could I not want to eat these?



Anyway, our waiter came back, and we had mostly decided upon our entrees (meaning she had, but I wasn't sure...).  The specialty of the house for seafood is the stone crab.  They are ve
 ry cool looking.  They also don't have to be killed in order to harvest the meat, since it is all in the claws.  They fish for them, take the claws, then throw them back to grow some new ones.  Sure, that renders them defenseless for a while, but I would imagine the survival rate is respectable.  They almost make me
  wish I liked shellfish, just to try them, but I don't.  They come in 4 sizes, and apparently size does matter.  It's all about how much meat you get for the effort of removing the shell.  There are several jokes in there methinks, but I'll leave you to make them yourselves.  I had encouraged Amy to try the stone crab, but we were told that it came chilled, and she didn't want that.  I believe she wound up having the bacon wrapped scallops, and I asked the waiter which steak I should eat.  Duh.   The bone-in filet.  Duh.  Look.  I love filet mignon.  Who doesn't?  To
  me, however, it has always served as a tasty dessert type item that I cut off my porterhouse when I'm done with the filling strip side.  I eat the filet last, all the while making the o-face.  I don't eat it as an entree, because it doesn't fill me up.  At the time I went to Joe's, I was a devout porterhouse guy.  There is no porterhouse on the menu.  Bummer.  The filet is also only 16 oz.  Bummer again.  I got over it.  I decided if I was out in a nice place, enjoying a nice evening, I could get out of my way and order what the waiter recommended.  It was a growth experience for this control freak.  I ordered the filet. 

Good choice.

Good God.  My mouth just watered.

My steak was fantastic. 

It was nicely charred on the outside, yet a nice medium to medium rare on the insi
 de.  It was a fine piece of filet, one that melts in your mouth.  It's all due to fat.  Sure, the restaurant would prefer you call it "marbling" but...it's fat.  Tasty, tasty fat.  I like the taste of so
 mething that is charred.  I like to find the blackened pretzels, seek out the piece of pizza with the black edges, and with beef brisket?  Don't bother with t
 he center meat.  Give me the piece with the crust on it.  Yum.  Joe's gets the char right on their steaks.  Meaning the whole surface of the steak tastes like that.  It's one of the things I don't seem to be able to duplicate at home, and I'm pretty skilled on the grill, but I just can't get the char right over the whole surface of a steak.  I settle for the criss-cross pattern.  I'm drifting.  Joe's knows what they're doing.  The steak had a silky texture and a very flavorful kick.  Adding to my enjoyment of the steak was the "bone-in" feature.  The meat right up against the bone never cooks as much as the rest, yet has a wonderful amount of fat (flavor) around it.  I could get more graphic about how much fun it is to get in there and get the meat out from right up against the bone, but this is not an adults only site.  Not yet, anyway.  It was the first time I'd had a bone in filet (I guess a porterhouse qualifies...maybe?), and I loved it. 

I was pleasantly surprised how full the 16 oz. steak made me.  I can't remember what sides I had, but I'm guessing it was a baked potato with butter and the broccoli.  I remember those were pretty good as well.  The broccoli has a garlic flavor to it, so it's a little askew of my "purist" tastes, but it was good.

Amy thoroughly enjoyed her scallops.  When asked to describe them by this reporter, she said, "You mean the melty softness with the salty goodness wrapped around it?"  You can make your own joke there as well.  Unfortunately, on this night, we didn't have time for dessert.  We had to run and watch some women Defy Gravity. 

Now your mouth may be watering.

Joe's service is impeccable.  The wait staff is knowledgeable, humorous (I can
 't help but riff with people when I go out), and very attentive.  We were very impressed by the place.  So much so that we decided that we would make Joe's a frequent stop while we were in the city.  We've since gone back twice (we really don't get to the city that much).  I've switched to the bone in ribeye.  Lordy, lordy it is tasty.  It's a little less silky piece of meat, but MAN does i
 t pack the flavor.  Amy had the John Dory (a non-menu fish) the second time we went, then broke down and tried the stone crab on our third visit.  I sampled the fish, and it was very good.  I have yet to be brave enough to try the crab, but Amy reports that you want to skip the small ones and go for the big ones.  Again, she seems to be making jokes as often as she can.  She says it is the sweetest crab she has ever eaten, and heartily recommends it. 



If heaven were the flavor of lime and
cut into slices, it might look like this.



The other thing we have had the pleasure of trying is the famous Key Lime Pie.  Like I said, my desserts generally need to include chocolate.  Not at Joe's.  That Key Lime Pie (to quote Adam Richman of "Man v. Food") is the gospel.  It is subtle at first, then slowly the lime takes over.  Often, Key Lime Pie gets up in your face with the sweet tartness, but Joe's version just kind of sneaks up on you.  Whoever came up with the recipe really deserves a medal or something.  It is the kind of thing that one could describe as "signature."  If you go to Joe's...save room.  I promise it's worth it. 

The nuts and bolts:  Joe's ain't cheap.  None of the places I'll be reviewing are.  Fine dining requires fine pricing.  There's no sense while you're there that anyone feels snobbish about anything.  They know they make a fine meal, and you know they appreciate your patronage.  As I said, the atmosphere is nice, bordering on romantic, and the wait staff really does a great job.  I always feel comfortable there. 

Do yourself and your tastebuds a favor.  Get to Joe's.  It's a great, great place. 

NEXT UP:  Keefer's Restaurant