Fogo de Chao - Miss Chicago Steakhouse for July

I believe this is Portuguese for "Fat guy can chow"

Friends. 

Thank you for sticking with me on this journey through the meat meccas of Chicago.  To sum up (and for cheap page views...) - we have visited Joe's, Keefer's, Gibsons, Morton's, David Burke's Primehouse, Rosebud, N9NE and this month's glutton's special....Fogo de Chao, a Brazilian Steakhouse or "Churrascaria."

I'm still recovering from the trip...so this may be short.  It may be sloppy.  Kinda like my first marriage. 

I digress.  Don't forget to click the links, if you want the jokes.  I can't write 'em, but I can link to 'em. 

When I set out on this quest, I found two lists of great steakhouses in Chicago.  From that list, I culled it down, and I decided I would only attend Chicago-based steakhouses.  I made one exception.  I needed to go to one chain from out of town (technically, Joe's qualifies in this regard as well, but I think Joe's is its own place here in Chi-town).  That place was Fogo de Chao.  Why?

ALL YOU CAN EAT MEAT. 

This idea doesn't have any catches, no hooks, no "gotcha" moments.  It's truly....

ALL YOU CAN EAT MEAT. 

A rack of meat greets you at the front door.  Beckoning you to try
the salad bar...

So.  Now I've been.  I'm going to tell you about it now.  If I can move my fat fingers.  It's Monday, and we went Saturday, and I'm still a little off.  The things I do for you people...

Located in the River North area, right on the corner of Erie and LaSalle (think Ed Debevic's, Hard Rock Cafe, Rock & Roll McDonald's area), the tile tower at the door makes you understand you made no mistake finding it.  Garish, it is a beacon in an area of town full of beacons.  Approaching the front door, you notice a fire, around which are racks of ribs, cooking to perfection.  Or maybe they're fake.  I don't know.  All I know is that there was the representation of meat at the front door.  I was pretty sure I was in the right place.

Cindy and her husband, Karl

Joining us on this particular evening were my youngest sister, Cindy, and her husband, Karl.  They had reserved their place on the tour months in advance.  Karl and I share a particular weak spot for consuming mass quantities.  We both love meat, and we both like it in Flintstonian portions.  The week before our evening out, Karl and Cindy were at my house celebrating our dad's 68th birthday.   (It would be funny if I said that my dad was elsewhere and that we just got together to celebrate, wouldn't it?  Maybe not.)  Anyway.....Karl says, "I see that we have an appointment next Saturday."  We both got a little excited just talking about it. 

Karl had prepped for the meal by not eating anything of substance that day, and by working out right before we picked them up.  I had eaten a hamburger at lunch, but had not eaten a whole lot myself.  We talked about how the place was going to lose money on us on the way over.   (foreshadowing, kiddies, foreshadowing...)  Cindy was a vegetarian until about 6 years ago...she still does not eat red meat, but occasionally consumes chicken and seafood, so she was only doing Salad Bar.  Amy was joining Karl and myself in the meat parade. 

The salad bar is actually quite impressive.  I
tried to be unobtrusive while photographing it.

We arrived right at our reservation time, and were escorted immediately past the enormous Salad Bar to the back room, and a cozy table for 4.  Nice.  The decor of the place is hard to describe.  It's kind of a modern/rustic/foreign/American thing.  There were wood timbers against one wall, the room was stone/cherry wood, there was a wine case separating the front room from the back room, and the ornamental lights were kind of a stained glass thing.  The back wall was a big mural.  It was very classy.  Walking through the place, the smell of cooking beef wafted into my nostrils, exciting the senses, and by the time we sat down I was jumpy.  We were met immediately by a server.   Not "our" server, as we learned that the place is a team effort.  He explained to us that we were going to be trying 16 different cuts of meat if we like, and that he wanted us to have a great time.  The next bit requires a paragraph.  So I'm breaking.....NOW!

Our server explained to us that at Fogo de Chao, you are given a small glossy paper card disk with one side the color Red, and one side Green.  If you want meat, simply flip the green side up.  When you want a break, flip the red side up.  Easy.  I caution you, gentle reader, that you must understand that with great power comes great responsibility.  I'll get to that in a minute. 

Be careful...it looks innocuous enough, but that's a
dangerous piece of cardstock

He took drink orders, and informed us that we were free to start with the Salad Bar.  In the meantime, a basket of small bread rolls showed up at the table.  Called Pao de Queijo, they are super light, cheesy bread puffs that are hot and tasty.  Cindy informed us that she would be eating her body weight in them before the night was through.  I think she came close. 

We talked for a moment, then decided to hit the Salad Bar.  Amy, Karl and I made our way to the bar, figuring this would be our one trip there, and we'd better make it quick.  Cindy decided to hang back, and save her trip until the rest of us were gnawing on meat.  I think she just wanted to eat the bread, without us knowing how much she was eating. 

They're blurry, because after a while, this is
what it really looks like.

The Salad Bar at Fogo could easily be a meal in itself.  In fact, it's advertised thus.  Populated with all kinds of vegetables, etc., plus Salmon, some other meats that I can't identify, one could easily fill up on everything there and be completely satisfied.  PLUS.  It had an iceberg lettuce option with croutons and bacon for those of us whose tastes are simpler.  I also tried a Heart of Palm, which was tasty.  I've never had it before.  Trying new things, I am.  The salad I made was lettuce, croutons and bacon and a Ranch dressing.   Guess what?  It tasted like those things.  That's not why I was there. 

As we finished our salads, our three side items were placed on the table.  Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Fried Polenta and Carmalized Bananas were the dishes.  They were all good.  I confess, I did not try the polenta, but I ate the others, and they were good.  From what I understand, they were unlimited as well.  (That link was tricky....)  I don't think we ate enough to justify a second dish of any of them.  We wanted meat, lots of meat.  That's what she said.

The next couple of minutes were overwhelming.  Feeling it was time, we flipped our cards from Red to Green.  Holy meat explosion Batman!  We were immediately assaulted (and no, there is no better word) by 4 Gauchos with skewers full of meat, ready to serve them to us as fast as we could take them.  Cindy and I both used the word "Annie" ("I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here") simultaneously to describe it.  Never let it be said that Cindy and I are not siblings.  The first to arrive was the Lombo (Parmesan Pork).  I passed on that, as I find parmesan cheese disgusting.  Karl and Amy both tried it, and both gave it low marks.  Next, there was Linguica (Sausage) and Frango (Chicken Legs).  This is where I started.  The sausage was delicious, but a little overdone.  Spicy and snappy with a lot of garlic and a hint of sage (well done Karl), the sausage was something I said I'd eat more of, if presented.  I didn't, but I would have if other things hadn't overwhelmed me.  I was very happy to discover that the chicken was legs.  I despise white meat generally.  So.  Here was a place that gave me DARK MEAT!  That is highly unusual.  The chicken was really good, and really hot.  Smoky, tender, juicy.  Good chicken.  Mind you, it was the only piece of it I ate, but it was good.

Picahna.  Specialty of the house.  Good God.

Also arriving on that round of madness was a skewer of Alcatra (Top Sirloin), and a skewer of Cordeiro (Roast Lamb).  Crusted to perfection on the outside, the meats were placed in front of me.  I was told to use my tongs to remove them as the Gaucho sliced them from the slab.  Oh. My.  Now we're cooking.  Lamb.  Red Meat. 

Every skewer of beef that comes around is a combination of temperatures.  I suspect that each time a slice is removed, the whole thing is put back in the flame to crust the outside again, which results in progressively cooked meats.  You can get rare.  You can get well done.  There's something for every taste.

The lamb.  I generally eat lamb only in Gyros format, which is hardly "lamb."  This was a long strip, about a quarter gyro sandwich in size, crusted, flavored with garlic and inviting looking.  I liked the lamb.  I skipped it the rest of the evening, again, because I found things I liked more, but I liked it.  Amy wished she had cucumber sauce.   

The top sirloin was grainy, which was to be expected.  It's a tough cut of meat.  Seasoned with just a hint of salt, my piece was a delicious medium rare, crusty on the outside.  It tasted great.  I think I'm gonna like it here.  (See?  Told you the Annie thing worked...)  With only 4 pieces of meat on my plate, I flipped my card back to red.  I was taking notes.  I've got readers after all.  I was also overwhelmed by the attention.  I needed a moment to breathe.  And to eat. 

My breather didn't last long.  I spied a rack of Costela de Porco (Pork Baby Back Ribs) approaching, so I flipped to green again.  I'm a meat purist.  I don't like sauces, etc., and the ribs were just cooked ribs.  No barbecue sauce to get in the way.  I just had to try those.  Wish I hadn't.  I used some precious stomach space on overcooked, dry ribs.  This was the only downer that I ate.  To think, that space could have been Picanha!  Bah.  Oh wait.  We haven't gotten there yet.

This was my favorite Gaucho.  The ribeye guy.
He and I became fast friends.  Mostly it was
a one way relationship.  I liked it though.

If you're keeping score, I've now tried 5 different meats, and skipped one.  The table has done 6.  So far, I've consumed about 10 oz. of meat, which is the size of a medium sized Filet Mignon around town.  I've also done it all in the span of about 10 minutes.  We had planned to be at Fogo for about 2 hours.  It was looking like we were going to be there about 45 minutes at that pace.  The disk stayed on red for a while.  Karl and I were chatting about what we liked best, etc. and trying to figure out how we were going to break the place.  (foreshadowing....)

It should also be pointed out that I'm not talking much about anyone else's food....nor will I.  I was being pummeled with meat (that's what she said) and I didn't have time for asking others what they thought.  Especially my wife.  Sorry Amy. 

Next up on the hit parade was Picanha (a different cut of top sirloin - and one the Gaucho called "the house specialty").  Again, it was a grainy medium rare.  Perfectly charred.  I ate a lot of this.  This particular trip I received two slices, and I ate a bunch more as the night went on.  Advertising it as the house specialty was right on.  Other pieces of meat were better quality, but this was cooked just right, and something you don't get elsewhere.  I made sure to flip the disk to green when I saw Picanha coming around. 

And that is the ribeye my new friend brought me.
A lot of times.  A LOT of times.

I also spied the Filet Mignon guy.  It was like a baseball game.  "Yo!  Filet Guy!"  Asking for a piece medium rare, the Gaucho sliced a chunk.  This was the first piece of meat that was a chunk.  He sliced it from the big piece, then put another slice in it, and served it right off the sword that these guys use as knives.  Very impressive.  The filet was delicious.  I told the table that I could eat nothing but Filet if I thought it would fill me.  Perfectly cooked at medium rare, silky, soft....Oh God.  It was DELICIOUS.  And rich.  I consumed at least an entire filet over the course of the evening, getting at least two more portions.  I can't remember.  It's all a haze. 

Also appearing was the Beef Ancho (Ribeye).  This was another chunk meat.  The top sirloins, etc. were shaved from the sides.  The ribeye and filet were sliced in the middle, then presented as chunks.  I love ribeye.  You know that if you've read more than one of these reviews.  Fogo gets ribeye right.  Super tender, super juicy, the steak was cooked to a perfect medium rare.  The Gaucho and I developed a relationship.  Probably because he visited a few times.  Once, when I summoned him, he came over and said he'd be back, as the cuts he had were well done.  He knew what I wanted.  Nice.  I probably consumed 3/4 of a ribeye steak that night.  Ugh.  It's adding up now.   A small break was taken.  Karl and I both got up to walk around.  I took pictures of the meat up front, plus a couple of shots of the restaurant.  Karl put it best....we needed "...to take a walk to shift some room around in the warehouse."

The last piece of meat that we tried was the Fraldinha (Bottom Sirloin).  I suspect this is what we know as Flank Steak.  It is super grainy, super juicy, super flavorful.  It was Karl's favorite cut.  It was high up on my list too, but I'd place it third, after the ribeye and the filet.  And maybe the Picahna.  I don't know.  It was all delicious.  Decide for yourself.  We ate a bunch of the bottom sirloin too. 



Vanity is out the window.  That's a fat guy face.  On a fat guy.



You remember that Simpsons episode where Homer gets in the steak eating contest?  Yeah.  That was referenced.  "What's happening to me?  There's still food, but I don't want to eat it!  I've become everything I've ever hated!"  Karl and I had eaten probably about 2 1/2 pounds of meat apiece.  We were full.  I mean, full.  I'm a fatty guy.  I try not to post pictures on Facebook, etc. that show me too fat, because I still have some vanity.  Not today.  I'm posting this shot, because it sums up my night.

All in all, it was exactly what we expected.  Meat.  And a lot of it.  The bonus was that most of it was really, really good. 

Oh yeah.  Foreshadowing.  Everyone expects that they will go to a casino and play on house money at some point.  That's the goal.  Karl and I expected Fogo to lose money on us.  I can assure you they did not.  We tried, but damn, that's a lot of meat to consume.  I would imagine they cleared a profit, maybe not a huge one, but a profit none the less.  We gave it our all, but we both gave up.  Damn.  Totally full on delicious food.  That's the kind of loss I can take any day.

Nuts and bolts:



Enough.  I've had enough.



We got out of the place for $140 a couple with tip.  That makes Fogo the most economical place we've attended.  We ate quality steak for the cheapest pricing thus far.  And we ate until we couldn't.  Does that appeal to you? 

We did not try 16 kinds of meat.  We got through 11.  I'm not sure they had the beef ribs out that night, and I saw something that looked like turkey floating around, but we ate enough.  More than. 

Seriously, with filet mignon like this, who the fuck needs dessert?

Salad bar is great.  If you want it.

The clientele was the most diverse we've encountered.  Age, race, socio-economic.  It was a blend.

You can dress relatively casually. 

Serving staff is incredible.  Bread arrived as soon as previous bowls were cleared.  At one point, we gave up our meat plates, and before the guy who took them left our table, new ones were placed by someone else.  Wow.

I'm going back.  Period.  Know why?

ALL YOU CAN EAT MEAT.

Oh yeah.  The ribeye.  Don't forget the ribeye.

Didn't try dessert.  No one did.  We were too full.  Woulda been a good choice I think, because that meaty flavor became a bit much by the end of the night.  Maybe next time.  Maybe.

Get to Fogo de Chao if you like to stuff yourself.  You won't regret it.  It was a great night. 

NEXT MONTH:  Benny's Chop House.

Amy is shielding the gut.  Or resting on it.  One more month, one more
fantastic meal.